you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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