I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
