I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
