Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
