eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
