I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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