We're like a lot better than the average bears
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
