That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
