it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
