Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize