The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
