I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize