He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
