Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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