Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Screwed.edu
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize