Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
