Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
