I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
