So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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