I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
