My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
