i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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