I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
