Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
