hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
