omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
