I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize