If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
