We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
