apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
