oh god the rape fog is back!
Someone shit on the floor
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
