She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
