How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
