Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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