super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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