Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
