i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
