Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
