If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
