Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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