im holly from the hills drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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