just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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