You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
