He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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