if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
