just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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