I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
