On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
