careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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