Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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