well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
