So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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