we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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