what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
