you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize