my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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