naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
