after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
