He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let's get the cat blown out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
