Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
