Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
