So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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