Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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