the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
